Dating is a natural part of life. And for most people that part of life begins in high school. At the very least, you can see examples of dating in high school, even if you aren’t actively dating yourself. There is a lot of pressure associated with dating in high school. A lot of this comes with the fact that dating is new to just about everyone at that age, and so dating is naturally a bigger deal. But it also comes from the fact that cliques and popularity are such big aspects of high school life in general. Something as innocent as just hanging out with someone after school on a regular basis will start the rumor mill going, with everyone assuming that the two people are dating. And a lot of times, such an activity does constitute dating in high school. But dating in high school is a lot more nuanced and complicated than that. In this guide, we will help you understand what exactly high school dating entails, especially the limitations of it. The end goal is not to dissuade you from dating in high school, but rather to give you a better idea of what it is really like, including the difficulties involved.
High School Dating is a Slow Process
Because life in high school is so controlled and rigid, there is often not that much time to actually hang out and progress in a relationship. High school classes are a lot more rigid in their scheduling, with almost no free time during school hours to do anything other than study. And at home, you probably have curfews and other stringent requirements from your parents as well. The weekends may be the only time to really have an actual date, but if you or your partner are involved in extracurricular activities, you may not have time to hang out on the weekends either.
Add on to the fact that you and your partner probably also need to spend his free time with friends and family and you can see how thin you both end up being stretched. While finding time for each other is admirable and a great way to really connect and speed up the dating process, always remember that you have other obligations and you should not let your decisions be dominated by the feelings of a first love.
In all honestly, the slow pace of high school dating is good for your own personal development. Try as much as possible to embrace the sluggish pace of the relationship, keeping in mind that you have other obligations that require your time and energy. If the relationship does stand the test of time, you will regret it if you spent all your high school years focused on them rather than focusing on self-development, family and friends.
Dating is typically within your own clique
What you will also recognize while dating in high school is that you often end up dating people that are in your own cliques and groups. Not always, but often. This is a good way to start out with dating simply because you not only have something in common to build from, but also because you likely have better opportunities to hang out naturally through school-sponsored events. For example if two people who are dating are both band geeks, they will have extra rehearsals and concerts with which to spend even more time together. This is definitely something to embrace, and use to your advantage when you first start dating in high school.
High school dating options are limited
This is true for just about any high school you go to. Even if a student class has 1000 students, with only half of the opposite gender, and maybe only a tenth of that whom you actually talk to, you are looking at about 50 possible options to date from. Add in the fact that some of them may already be dating and you are even more limited. And if you are gay or some other unique sexuality, it will be even harder to find someone!
What does this all mean? It simply means that you should not fret if you don’t end up dating in high school. Dating is so far and few in between, especially considering how life will play out in the long run…
High School dating is usually temporary
This is a big reason that high school dating should almost always be an afterthought and very casual at best. The majority of high school dating does not end in any long-term relationships, or the more important metric, marriage. Yes, there are some couples that do stand the test of time and get married. But so often, it is due to some circumstance such as teenage pregnancy. Or they are unconsciously sticking with each other because they are comfortable and don’t want to move on.
This fact in particular is very negative. The great part about dating is meeting new people and seeing what they like and how they are compatible with you. But being with your high school sweetheart, especially if they are your first partner (which is almost always the case) keeps you from exploring and seeing what else is out there in the dating scene. The issue is only exacerbated further when down the road when you and your high school sweetheart are significantly older and find character traits that you don’t like but never knew about in high school. At that point you are stuck without no legitimate way of ending the relationship, especially if you already have kids together.
High School Dating is A Learning Experience
Dating someone in high school is an exhilarating experience, especially if he or she is your first love. Not only do you get to enjoy the company of another person that you know and trust in an intimate setting, but you also get to learn more about yourself in the process. However, it is always important to remember that you should not think of high school dating as finding your life partner. Use it to learn and to grow as a person, and see just how dating feels in general. Like the always say, if it was meant to be, you’ll find a way to be together in the end, even if post-high school plans send you and your partner off in different directions. Even if that ever happens, just know that you will have at the very least gained a wealth of knowledge and experience to help you as you continue dating to find that life partner. And that is the real value in high school dating.
