As much as we don’t like to admit it, rape is something that all women have to think about whenever they are out in public. Rapists are predators first and foremost. Because rape is such a chilling experience that no women should ever face, as part of Newport Lake Sexual Health Centre, we feel it is so important for us to help convey just how women can prevent potential rapes from happening. Please note that this is not justifying anything a rapist does. It is important to recognize that rape does happen, and it can potentially happen to any one of us, which is why it is important to learn the best ways to prevent it.
Rape Will Never Be Your Fault
Before we even get into how to prevent rape, it is so important to point out that no matter what happens, the fault of rape is solely on the rapist, 100%. Nothing that you wear, say or do justifies getting raped. Period. There is no such thing as “asking for it”, and anyone who tells you otherwise is simply a rape-sympathizer and someone that you should not allow into your life whatsoever. Having said all that, there are ways that can improve your chances of avoiding danger. Just always keep in mind that nothing you actively do can “cause” you to be raped.
Rape is commonly by someone you know
While statistics vary, the general consensus is that only 10 to 30% of rapists were complete strangers to the victim. In other words, most women who are raped are raped by men that they know. This can mean anything from friends, people they were dating, co-workers or even just acquaintances. This is not to say that you should be questioning the behavior of every man that you know in your life, including your significant other. What it does mean though is that you should not let your guard down completely, depending on who you are with.
If you truly trust the person, then it is reasonable to let your guard down. However, things can change in an instant so if your gut ends up telling you that the situation has changed and it is not safe, follow it without hesitation. Find a way to either get away from them or ask others around you for help getting you away from him and to a safe place immediately.
If the person is a completely new date, you should be extra cautious. According to a few studies, nearly one third of rapes are committed by a date. Again, depending on how much you trust the person, make it a point to stay in public places and explicitly communicate whether you are open to sex or not (i.e. by explicitly saying “no”). Don’t be afraid to raise your voice to draw attention to others around you, as this will typically put in you a safer position than if you were to not make a large scene. If you do go alone with him to his apartment or even your apartment, make sure you tell a close friend that you can trust unconditionally what you are doing. Send them personal information and photos of the person you are with, and if you want to really be safe, ask them to call you a few hours later just to be sure you are alright and you made it home safely.
Always Stay Aware of Your Surroundings
The most frequently targeted location for rapists to strike are parking lots and parking garages, so be extra careful when you are in these places alone. Make sure to be keenly aware of your surroundings at all times as you walk to and from your car. If you feel someone following you, the best thing to do is to start making noises. Whether it is talking to yourself loudly or making an imaginary phone call, the louder you talk, the more likely the predator is to walk away. Better yet is to actually call your friend or family member on the phone, which has the added benefit of ensuring that if you are abducted, your friend or family member can immediately call the police and get you help.
Know Your Walking Route Beforehand
Scoping out your surroundings during the day or mapping it out online before you actually arrive is a very good preventive measure to ensure that you are not walking around lost while trying to get to your destination. The less time you are walking around outside, the less likely that someone can abduct you. Rapists also often target women who may look lost, so making sure you know your way around a place (or at least walking like you know where you are going) is important in that sense as well.
Watch Your Drink At All Times
This does not only mean keeping an eye on your drink at all times, but also means avoiding drinking anything that strangers give you. Rapists will often use drugs added to a drink to knock you out so they can abduct you. There is almost no way of telling what is in the drink so even if a drink looks safe, if you didn’t buy it yourself, don’t drink it. In fact, you should also always just hold your hand over the top of the drink to ensure no one drops anything into it, especially if you are in a crowded room with a lot of people.
Stay with friends
This tip especially holds true when you are out clubbing or at some other social event. Especially in the case of a club where people may not necessarily be able to hear you scream, having friends who are looking out for you is very useful. Not to mention, if you do get hit with a date-rape drug, your friends can protect you and either take you home or stay with you until you wake up.
Don’t Stop Living Your Life
As scary as the thought of potential rape may be, it is important not to let your life change as a result of these thoughts and feelings. You may start to feel like there is no safe place for you out in public, whether it be at a bar, a restaurant, the grocery store, or even your home. But having this mindset is detrimental to your overall health and well-being. You need to do your best to live your life out the way you want to. The best thing to do is to make sure to always follow the above tips – when all of the tips are used effectively, you can greatly reduce the risk of being raped!
